wearing all black today to mourn the death of my motivation
I lost myself so long ago.. I honestly don’t even remember what it feels like to be together, or to even be okay. The worst thing one could lose is themselves.. you never really find yourself again. or at least, I haven’t. I honestly don’t think I ever will. I’m so tired of not being okay. I’m so tired of fucking pretending like every thing is just peachy. I’m not fucking okay. Nothing is fucking okay. My soul is withering, and I don’t know how to make it come back to life. It’s like I’m emotionless, but feel every emotion thinkable all at once at the same time. How is that fucking possible. Like what in the hell is wrong with me.. I’m so sick of feeling this way. I’ve felt like this for so long, I don’t know if I can beat this. It’s become a part of me. I just want to fucking be better. I feel like I never will be.